It’s been a long year without you. All of you. Every smile, every comforting anecdote, every supportive remark. I know that if I would’ve let my guard down, showed my pain, exposed my tears you would’ve been there for me every step of the way just like you’ve always been. But this? This was just too hard. Too much pain had been endured. Our family apart, the struggle and strife that tied us together. It’s so difficult to explain to anyone, hiding the pain behind a meek smile. The economy capsized, we did what had to be done, knowing how difficult it would be. But really not being able to foresee the depth of our emotions. Not just sadness from being separated, but worry for the unknown, happiness in anticipation of our new addition, physical stress of being a married yet single being carrying on with a big little family dealing with a whirlwind of feelings. Staying strong for the children, for everyone carefully watching. It was just too much for any one person to endure. That weight is not something I was ever willing to expose, or to inflict, on anyone. Looking back I know you would’ve never left my side and I thank you for that. We missed you, Facebook.